True Things About the First Year of Maternity

I read ridiculously much during my pregnancy. I read natural parenting books and baby planning books, and how to make your baby happy without crying and eating is good for anyone guided by your baby’s spirit. If there was a book to read, rest assured, I tried it.

I thought I knew everything I required to grasp.

How much of this information did I actually use? Something. A little. The best thing about it, a short trick, but not a single book was accurate and nothing was nearly as simple as all my reading had made me believe. Fable was just herself, and apparently she hadn’t read the same thing I had agreed to. The whole reading was largely a waste of time.

These are the words I would have preferred to have read before jumping headlong into motherhood with my books, my diagrams, my ideals, and my high horses. They’re imperfect and they are not all pretty, but they’re hard-won and honest and as true as I can get them.

I wish I had known the following:

1. You will always be on your ass during this performance as a parent and be fantastic all the time.

You will be a different parent every morning than another child, sometimes changing within hours, minutes or in front of your eyes. There will be good days and bad days, good and bad minutes, good and less good decisions. You’re going to get some things wrong, probably a lot of things. Be light with yourself, because you are wildly loved and incredibly needed. You climb the mountain. Everest with a basic conditioning of zero – expect to be terrible for a while. You are beautiful. We are here for you.

2. Bodies after birth are squashy + wobbly + diminch-shaped + stretched.

Also strange and embarrassing and difficult and painful and gloriously imperfect, and they tend to stay that way for quite a while. You made a human being. Now make your peace. ISS good food. Walk around if you’re good enough. Listen to the people who tell you you are beautiful. Take them at their word. Remember where your value comes from.

3. Your baby isn’t just like the different babies.

Your baby is the only one of her who has ever been, and you and your partner are the only experts for them. Your baby will not behave as it is written in the books, he will not like what it is supposed to do, it will not do what it is supposed to do if it is to do it, and that is normal and great and perfectly fine.

The best thing you can do is drop your literature and get to know your baby. What does she like? What makes them laugh? What is the best way to sleep? What does it sound like hungry? The discovery of these things will serve you so much more than a stranger’s care instructions will ever do.

You don’t have to make your life or family look like a particular model – you don’t have to follow the rules. You just have to create a life that works for you and promotes love, security and a lot of laughter. If it looks like it’s going to be pancake parties at 2 o’clock in the afternoon, I’m not going to tell you. I could actually admire you and just be a bit jealous.

4. We must stop telling people that things should be simple and painless.

We live in a culture that equates lightness with value. The simpler it is, the better it is. If it hurts you, something is wrong. Reality Check: Sometimes things that are hard and painful are also very, very good.

5. Oh My the poop.

They warn you. They tell you. And despite all the warnings, it’s still confusing and alarming and downright impressive how much of your next year is spent dealing with feces, assessing it, smelling it, washing it off, evaluating it, discussing it, discussing it, and transport it. Make yourself good and make yourself comfortable, friends. The crap is coming. For whom the poop rings The Hunt for Poop – you have the idea.

6. Success is a willingness to grow.

Here’s the truth: You don’t know much about anything.

In a year after your fantastic child turned 1, you won’t know much about anything. Collect wisdom around you. Learn from your mistakes. Stay humble. Stay open. If you know better, do it better. Be a better parent tomorrow than today, always, every day, as often as you can. Try things and leave them unashamedly if they don’t work.

Life is not a competition or a game. It’s just beautiful life. Live the minutes instead of counting them. Love this incredible baby.

Oh, dear, you’ll have so much fun!